My Dog Needs a Therapist

A few days a week, Patrick goes on a run, and he usually takes one of the dogs with him, alternating back and forth. Sometimes I take the other one on a walk or run at the same time, but not usually. Dagny had gone on the previous two outings, the first time being a short jog and the second time being a longer jog to the school to retrieve the bicycle and then running along side the bicycle on the way back.

Just to clarify to points: (1) You cannot run with both dogs at once without risking injury and/or humiliation (you can walk with both). Not only do you have two leashes to hold, but they compete for the lead, criss-cross in front of you, and basically just feed off of each other’s energy so that any potential distraction becomes “problematic.” (2) Hank is not allowed to come on “bicycle trips.” It’s not that he has ever actually done anything to earn this barring. We are just assuming that given his size, clumsiness, distractibility, and proneness to random and erratic behavior that the person riding the bicycle would have a 50/50 chance of surviving any given ride. Dagny, on the other hand, is “all business.” On runs, she looks straight ahead and goes. Nothing distracts her and no sight or smell is more important that going forward. She’s a weird dog, and with that I’m back to my story.

Yesterday afternoon, Patrick starting getting ready to go jogging. He went into the bedroom, changed clothes, put on tennis shoes, etc. Hank was sitting at my feet (of course), but Dagny trotted into the bedroom to “help” him get ready. When he was about ready, she made a mad dash to the door and stood, staring up at the door knob. Clearly she wanted to go. But, it was not her turn. It was Hank’s. Hank loves going for jogs and cries when she goes as well, but Hank is Hank and nothing ever bothers him all that much (food based activities excepted). When Patrick took Hank and left, Dagny did her normal “freak out behavior,” although I did notice that she seemed more upset than normal. She screamed and cried, pawed at the door knob, turned in circles, jumped up on the wicker chest and through herself against the wall of engagement photos (this was new), ran over to me, looking at me in terror, and then eventually laid down and whimpered for a little while, before putting her head on her paws and silently staring at the door until the boys returned.

She seemed quite upset with Patrick for the rest of the afternoon. She just laid around, generally looking at the door. Even when he threw Sheepy for her (which takes some love because Sheepy is soooo gross), there was only the littlest tail wag. But then, she wouldn’t eat dinner! Her tasty, overpriced, super-duper Science Diet dog food. She just turned up her nose at it! Even when we put Hank outside so that she wouldn’t have him “looking at her” while she ate, tried to hand feed her, told her she was a wonderful doggie . . . nothing. She wouldn’t eat a single piece.
She wasn’t “sick” in any of the ways that she normally lets us know she is sick (you know what I’m talking about), so we joked that she was just angry. Joked. We gave her bowl to her several more times that night, but every time, she would walk up to it, examine, sniff, turn her nose up, and then walk back to her bed and lay down, staring. We even tried having some “Hank-less” snuggle time on the couch, but she continued to (creepily) stare at the door. Meanwhile, we could literally hear her tummy growling. I thought that there was no way she was really this upset. She is a dog. When animals are hungry, they eat. I thought maybe she just had an upset tummy and needed to go out more and that this was the reason she kept staring at the door. So, this morning, I tried to feed her again. Same result. I was getting kinda worried because this really is not normal dog behavior in my book. This is what a stubborn person does, and I think dogs are far more practical than we are. I started worrying that I hadn’t given her heartworm medicine in time, that she had missed a vaccination, or that some other terrible (and expensive) ailment had afflicted her. So, around 1:00 when Patrick drove me to class, he decided to test a theory and let Dags ride in the backseat.

Maybe she really was just po’d at us and wanted to “get out” and go on an adventure like Hank. Pretty anthropomorphic, huh? Well, apparently not. I talked to Patrick after my class, and he said that as soon as they got home, he offered Dagny her food again, and she ate it without a second thought . . . My dog is a psychopath. Plain and Simple. Dogs just don’t act this way, right? Only my dog. My little, overly sensitive, neurotic, obsessive compulsive dog. That is why I need a pet therapist. My dog is NUTS.

Update: Dagny has only eaten half of her dinner tonight and is looking very sad . . . so maybe it isn't over . . .